The Age of Confusion

Seamus on couch

At the close of the terminal Cenozoic era on planet Earth located in the Orion Spur of the Milky Way galaxy, two small doggies and one grey feline discuss the actions of the human race and come to an understandable conclusion.

SEAMUS
Mom, we’re confused.

MOM
About what, little boy?

SEAMUS
Well, nothing seems to make sense anymore. Men are marrying men, women are marrying women; men are becoming women and women are becoming men.

MAYA
Yeah, and at the same time the Sunni’s are eradicating the Shiites along with certain other Sunnis – at least I think that’s what’s happening.

TESSA
Europe is morphing into the Middle East and the Middle East is eating itself alive.

SEAMUS
Meanwhile, the Jews have evolved from peaceful farmers to terrorists and the terrorist Palestinians are now the victims of Israel’s terror. Sheesh, did I say that right?

MAYA
Here’s the clincher…. instead of looking for life on other planets astronomers are looking to discover remnants of global catastrophes that have wiped out life on distant planets. I guess if it’s happening to us then it’s probably happened before.

TESSA
How about science has proven that climate change is destroying planet Earth, but law makers deny there is even such a thing as climate change. Gotta love that one.

SEAMUS
But wait, the rich keep getting richer while the middle class struggle to keep up with the poor.

MAYA
What I don’t get is that we all need air, food and water to survive, but humans pour thousands of tons of chemicals into our air, food and water poisoning themselves and all other species. I can’t poop in my own backyard so why can humans poop anywhere they like?

TESSA
Hahahahahahah, oh, gosh that’s so funny and dark, isn’t it? Humans pooping and pissing chemicals on each others food and water has got to be the height of bad taste…….hahahahahaha.

Lake reflection

MOM
Lovely, Tessa. You’ve become quite adept at the casual pun. You forget to whom you are addressing this long list of accusations.

SEAMUS
You can’t be upset over the truth mom. And we know, we know, “it is what it is”, which is the biggest cop-out humans have come up with in a long time.

MOM
Hmmm, is there more, my little animal kingdom?

TESSA
Sure, there’s the pharmaceutical industry who pays doctors to prescribe medication that people don’t need to take, especially when diet and exercise can do a better job at less cost.

MOM
Ok, good point.

SEAMUS
And children are supposed to play outdoors in the fresh air and sunshine, but today they are forbidden to play outdoors in the fresh air and sunshine, because they might get hurt…..hahahahaha, I mean aren’t kids supposed to fall down and get hurt?

MAYA
How about that people text instead of call, email instead of visit, and talk to their phones instead of directly to the person they are with at the moment.

TESSA
Gee, the only thing that is consistently the same are fashion trends and they seem to be stuck at yoga pants, blue jeans and T-shirts.

SEAMUS
Except that clothes have gotten cheaper, so humans can buy more clothes they don’t need while ignoring the slave labor needed to create those cheap clothes.

MOM
It appears that we are living in the Age of Confusion.

TESSA
Whatever happened to the Age of Aquarius?

MOM
Passed us by, I guess, and kept on going. Do I want to ask if there is anything else?

SEAMUS
Well, how about that millions of people take illegal drugs that perpetuate a horrific drug culture that destroys individuals, families, communities and entire countries?

TESSA
So is marijuana legal or illegal now? I was thinking about trying it and then move on to heroin. Makes sense to humans so why not….

MOM
Oh, dear, this is exhausting.  Is there more?

SEAMUS
Yeah, there is mom. If the 14th Amendment of the Constitution was created to defend the rights of every human person then why are Corporations protected and given the inalienable rights of human beings?

MAYA
Are this Fall’s skirts mini or maxi length?

MOM
Alright, enough is enough. I think I get your point. But if you are confused what do you think humans are?

SEAMUS
Well, me, Maya and Tess were discussing that humans constantly have to remind the animal world……

TESSA
…..and each other….

SEAMUS
…..of their superior intelligence and reasoning capabilities. In fact this whole entire universe of billions of stars and planets appears to have been made just for humans to muck up one planet only to abandon it and move a few dozen people………

TESSA
…..of superior intelligence…

SEAMUS
….to another planet light years away and start the confusion all over again.

MAYA
We were thinking that human actions are based more on ignorance and delusion than on any superior traits….well, at least what we can see.

MOM
Hmmmm, somehow I think you just gave me a backhanded insult.

TESSA
Hahahahahaha, oh mom, you’re such a jokester. Of course we mean you, you’re a human being.

MOM
Gosh, so what do you suggest we superior beings do?

TESSA
First you have to all calm down and get a hold of yourselves.

MAYA
Yeah, snap out of it. This world is not just about you.

SEAMUS
And you need to be more tolerant and kind to all species not just each other.

TESSA
And create an international law banning all wars for the rest of time.

MOM
Oh dear.

SEAMUS
Yeah, mom, time to rock and roll.

 

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