Waiting for Mom

Waiting for Mom

As the morning wears on, Maya, a Cairn terrier and Seamus, a Shih Tzu mix, pass the time in conversation as they wait for their mom to arrive home from shopping.

MAYA
Shay, hey, Shay, wake up.

SEAMUS
(eyebrow lifting)
Hmmmm?

MAYA
Ya think mom will cook some bones today?

SEAMUS
Dunno, sure, hope so. I love the thick ones with lots of meat and fat on them.

MAYA
Yeah, they make a big mess too.

SEAMUS
I start em, you finish them.

MAYA
What’s your favorite meal?

Seamus
(turns to look at Maya)
You always ask me that. You must be hungry.

Maya
Humor me, what is it?

Seamus
(big sigh)
I love the beef stew right after its been simmered with the bones, then it is pureed with the bone marrow. So good.

MAYA
I know, right? Then sometimes mom throws in the sardines and you get the strong fish smell and underneath is the flavor of well tendered beef. Man oh man.

SEAMUS
You’re making me hungry.

MAYA
Mom’s not home for awhile, any old bones around?

SEAMUS
That is so gross, Maya. No one eats old bones except you.

MAYA
So What? I need to chew on something. It keeps my jaws strong for tougher prey.

SEAMUS
(laughing)
Yeah, like what, a mouse?

MAYA
I have to prepare for anything, because you never know what will happen.

SEAMUS
Like that skunk you tangled with last summer? By the way, you still wear the odor of eau de skunk. Kinda like a badge of honor or something.

MAYA
(chuckle)
That bastard wasn’t fighting fair, but it sure was an effective defense. Blind your opponent with poison spray and mark em with a smell that will follow them forever. Pure genius.

SEAMUS
I remember mom saying that women should have that defense system and it would probably put an end to rape.

MAYA
Yeah, baby, the attacker gets thwarted and everyone knows what he did. Great idea.

SEAMUS
Hey, let’s make friends with the skunk and set him up to meet Marco.

MAYA
(laughing so hard she cannot answer)
Whew, good one Shay, now that would be so satisfying to see. You have a skewed sense of humor, little guy.

SEAMUS
(chuckle)
Shameless Seamus they call me; and wicked smart disguised as a puff ball.

MAYA
Hey, did you see that weird looking creature laying in the yard yesterday?

SEAMUS
No, too busy checking out the compost pile. What did I miss?

MAYA
Well, it was laying on its side with its tongue sticking out the side of its mouth. Really weird looking. I stood there barking hoping it would get up and fight me, then mom came over.

SEAMUS
Uh oh, what did she do?

MAYA
I could tell she was confused. Said something like,
“Hmmm, a dead possum? Wasn’t here a few minutes ago.”
I mean for sure it had not been there when we walked by five minutes before.

SEAMUS
Fell from the sky, out of one of those planes you chase?

MAYA
Very funny. Then mom chuckled, you know how she does, and said, “Maya, this is what is called Playing Possum. This ugly little creature is probably scared beyond thinking, but is pretending to be dead so you won’t attack him. Pretty brilliant, and well done Mr. Possum.”

SEAMUS
Except?

MAYA
Yeah, except I could see his belly move when be breathed. But even I won’t attack an animal who is down and playing dead.

SEAMUS
(dripping sarcasm)
That’s real nice of you, My.
Then what happened?

MAYA
Mom made me go inside so Mr. Possum could get on his way.

SEAMUS
No smelly skunk spray?

MAYA
Obviously not!

SEAMUS
About our size?

MAYA
A few inches shorter. I see where you are going with this, you sly dog.

SEAMUS
Time to go hunting.

MAYA
If Marco doesn’t get to him first.

SEAMUS
(chuckle)
Might be more fun to watch Marco fight Mr. Possum than take either of them on ourselves. Marco and the possum, playing possum.

MAYA
(laughing)
That’s very Zen, Shay.

SEAMUS
Yeah, well, I have my Zen moments.
Hey, I think mom’s home. Let’s go. It’s time to pee and eat.

MAYA
(excited)
I hope she brought the bones!

(loud barking ensues)

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Christine krippene says:

    This is a conversation I could imagine. I often wonder what the unspoken dialog is between my animals..

    Like

    1. I do too. Many times I feel they send me messages with their thoughts, as I seem to do just what they want:-)

      Like

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